“When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty.”—Stevie Nicks (via punkukulele)
“My mistrust [of men] is not, as one might expect, primarily a result of the violent acts done on my body, nor the vicious humiliations done to my dignity. It is, instead, born of the multitude of mundane betrayals that mark my every relationship with a man—the casual rape joke, the use of a female slur, the careless demonization of the feminine in everyday conversation, the accusations of overreaction, the eye rolling and exasperated sighs in response to polite requests to please not use misogynist epithets in my presence.”—
I was looking through the photos on my iPhone, in that way it organizes them by where you’ve taken them. 2012 and 2013 where full of different states and cities and towns, all over the place! That travel life! 2014 has just been in LA and the Bay, which I got bummed out about for a second.
And then I realized:
I moved to LA. Alone. And now I live in a studio I love, and working a job I get excited to go to. Some nights are so busy, it’s terrifying and I started out hating being a line cook, but I’m having a blast.
I’m not running away from an apartment I don’t want to live in anymore, a job I’ve outgrown and begun to despise, and drama with people I’ve probably mostly started because I’m unhappy and stuck.
I saw this quote on tumblr a couple years ago and it fucking PISSED ME OFF: “Instead of wondering when your next vacation is, maybe you should set up a life you don’t need to escape.” – Seth Godin
It doesn’t make me upset anymore. Mildly annoyed maybe, but I dig it.
“Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They will interrupt you, put you down and suggest it’s personal. And the world won’t end.
And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and party, because, as I think Emma Goldman said, “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution.” And at last you’ll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.”—Audre Lorde (via quotes-shape-us)
1. Don’t try to piss quietly. Nobody in a public restroom thinks you’re knitting in your stall. They came to piss, just like you. And if you have to take a dump, do it. Get over your fear of public toilets. It’ll make life a lot easier.
2. Masturbate. Masturbate a lot. Talk about it with your friends. You’ve got the right to make yourself feel good and brag about it just like all the boys with extra large kleenex packages on their desks.
3. If you want the large fries, get the large fries. Hunger and appetite are nothing to be ashamed of, just human. Don’t ever feel guilty for eating in front of others. You need to nourish your body to stay alive. We all do.
4. Laugh as loud as you have to, no matter if you snort or gasp or literally scream.
5. Fart when you have to.
6. Always remember you weren’t born to visually please others. Forget the phrase “what if they think it’s ugly”. If you think it’s lovely, it is lovely. You wanna wear it, wear it!
7. Speak your mind! You can learn to do so without insulting others or shoving your opinion down other people’s throats.
So when people leave, I’ve learned the secret: let them. Because, most of the time, they have to.
Let them walk away and go places. Let them have adventures in the wild without you. Let them travel the world and explore life beyond a horizon that you exist in. And know, deep down, that heroes aren’t qualified by their capacity to stay but by their decision to return.
I had a tough transition (it was full of smiles and sunshine, but I also cried alone in my apartment often, with my cat and my Apple TV. There are some things the internet cannot fix like homesickness and a terrible night at a new job where nothing makes sense).