I bake vegan sweets professionally and write on Vegansaurus for kicks! Sometimes I even recipe-test for VegNews magazine and cookbook authors. The most elegant person in sweatpants you know.
I think we all do things we are not proud of. I think some of us are just crueler about judging others than we’d like to admit.
So about two years ago, in San Francisco, I went out with some coworkers to celebrate our manager’s last day. He and I were the same age and had both lived in Chicago, though he was from there and I had only lived there three years. He was also very engaged.
He kissed me in the cab ride home, the cab ride I paid for because he was too drunk to find his wallet. I let him kiss me and I kissed him back because I was lonely. And I walked into my apartment. I sobbed for awhile because that is not the kind of woman I want to be. I don’t want to be a man’s fallback, I don’t want to be a mistress. I don’t want to be the kind of woman that hurts other women.
I remember in Chicago, at work, in the cake decorating room, while we were on break, the ladies said (one in particular, it was WEIRD), “Jenny, you could totally steal men if you wanted to”, and I passively and confusedly, but kind of flattered, said “But I don’t want that”, and they said “well, good, then don’t”.
Anyway, the makeup stains from that night I sobbed into my beautiful mint green, 630 count sheets are still there. As a reminder.
i love my cat so much.
I am flawed if I’m not free.
SOME RILO KILEY SONG I DON’T KNOW THEY ALL MIX TOGETHER RIGHT NOW.
"Does He Love You" from More Adventurous, I know. The fucking, like, if I ever got a tattoo of band, of a song lyric, this would be it.
Fiona Apple - Get Him Back
But the last one I had was getting my hopes up
I might’ve been a little fast to dismiss
I think he let me down when he didn’t disappoint me
He didn’t always guess right but he usually got my gist
Perfect motherfucking timing, Mr GoLightly.
It’s been quite awhile since I’ve dated someone who, when I have an epic fucking meltdown, has said “I like you a lot and I like where this is going and you apologized, so I’m fine”.
I dunno. That’s really nice. I don’t think he can make the time for me I want, but I do like his dad voice (what, I have issues, duh) and his easy going manner.